my sisters under your porch take her home
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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