so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
COCAINE IS GR8
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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