I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
