He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
