When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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