when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
