ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
