Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
