the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
