i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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