So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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