i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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