If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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