mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
operation harelip BJ is a go
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
