Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
