i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
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