he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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