Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
