I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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