Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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