Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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