Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
