You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
