All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Randomize
