you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
