You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
