U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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