wrigley field is MILF paradise
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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