so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
