All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
