I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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