Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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