Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
