margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
