You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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