just come out here and I will go home with you...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
