Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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