Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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