He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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