i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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