you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
A+ Viking dick
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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