Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
