I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
