Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
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