Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
