I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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