do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The beer is more important than you right now.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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