Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
