Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
