It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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