Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
