found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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